The season of unknowingness has arrived, and it's extra-ugly this year.
It's only 50 degrees out but the briskness is telling; I'm already starting to transform. The sweats are coming out. The skin is getting dry. The mood is flattening (plummeting?). Fall is stunning but it's always been too short, too ominous to truly enjoy. It's a transition. We are moving toward the BIG WAIT, but its meaning is compounded this time around because there is the oh-so-miniscule possibility that this will be our last winter in the upper midwest.
Dare I allow myself to think such a thing? Dare I allow myself to believe that we could escape? Talking to an old friend today, I explained our situation and how we really have no idea where we will end up next year. She asked, "wouldn't it really suck to have to start over again?"
My immediate, unqualified answer: "No." And I meant it.
I have come to understand that I am not built to live here. I mentioned this to Matt last night, and I've said it before. I drove past a set of empty tennis courts yesterday and thought, hey, that would be a great place for Matt and I to play some tennis when he gets back from San Diego. Then it occurred to me: when Matt gets back from San Diego, tennis is kind of out of the question. November signifies the shutting down of traditional outdoor activities in this part of the country. Tennis is a warm weather sport--do you ever see tennis players in sweat pants and parkas? I don't think so.
Milwaukee has changed me, certainly. I used to think that California was the only place to live. I now know that isn't true. Moving here made me begin to realize that our great dastardly country is absolutely chock-full of habitable cities: places with coffee shops, theaters, festivals, music, parks, markets, colleges, airports....every state has at least a few of these. Some of em are way too full of Republicans, but hey, so it goes. This is a wonderful city, and there are wonderful people here. We will survive wherever we go...and you never know, we may even find a place we love.
But in general, I've decided, the sun isn't optional. I LOVE heat. I could sweat all day. Even in Houston this past summer--which, incidentally, I'm pretty convinced is the hottest mosquito-laden hell on this planet--I made an effort to be outside, and I was happy. The sun, the water--give me a pool, a bay, a lake, some hot weather, and I will float and splash all day and I will be content. Sure, it could get old, choking on that miserable-thick air. But I will NEVER believe it is worse than 5 months of frigidity.
Even though I know these feelings might have no influence insofar as our near future is concerned, I do believe it will influence our distal outcome. The upper midwest is a niche. Those who grew up here love this place and will never leave. We have survived three years here and we realize that it has much to offer. And maybe I am just being reactionary but lately, I think the southwest is as deep a part of me as anything else I am, or do. I adore the topography; the desert and the mountains, the colors, the diversity of the people. The horses! The cow towns!!
I could start over. I've done it before, I could do it again. I have met so many wonderful people here and overall, it has been a worthwhile experience. If we stay here another five years, we will survive. But I know we won't be here forever. It's like we are just waiting to go home.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I will play the banjo, I will ride a well-broke horse through fields of butterflies, I will be happy.
I hear the crying of the hungry
In the deserts where they're wandering
Hear them crying out for Heaven's own
Benevolence upon them
Hear destructive power prevailing
I hear fools falsely hailing
To the crooked wits of tyrants when they call
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
I hear the sounds of tearing pages
And the roar of burning paper
All the crimes in acquisition
Turn to air and ash and vapor
And the rattle of the shackle
Far beyond emancipators
And the loneliest who gather in their stalls
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
So, while you sit and whistle Dixie
With your money and your power
I can hear the flowers a-growing
In the rubble of the towers
I hear leaders quit their lyin'
I hear babies quit their cryin'
I hear soldiers quit their dyin', one and all
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
I hear the tender words from Zion
I hear Noah's waterfall
Hear the gentle lamb of Judah
Sleeping at the feet of Buddha
And the prophets from Elijah
To the old Paiute Wovoka
Take their places at the table when they're called
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
In the deserts where they're wandering
Hear them crying out for Heaven's own
Benevolence upon them
Hear destructive power prevailing
I hear fools falsely hailing
To the crooked wits of tyrants when they call
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
I hear the sounds of tearing pages
And the roar of burning paper
All the crimes in acquisition
Turn to air and ash and vapor
And the rattle of the shackle
Far beyond emancipators
And the loneliest who gather in their stalls
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
So, while you sit and whistle Dixie
With your money and your power
I can hear the flowers a-growing
In the rubble of the towers
I hear leaders quit their lyin'
I hear babies quit their cryin'
I hear soldiers quit their dyin', one and all
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
I hear the tender words from Zion
I hear Noah's waterfall
Hear the gentle lamb of Judah
Sleeping at the feet of Buddha
And the prophets from Elijah
To the old Paiute Wovoka
Take their places at the table when they're called
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
I hear them all, I hear them all, I hear them all
Monday, August 9, 2010
Welcome to Our Neighborhood
As most everyone now knows by now, we moved. Again. We are chronically unhappy renters. If it's not the location, it's the landlord; if it's not the landlord, it's the location; if it's neither, the place is probably falling apart; if it's none of those, we can't afford it. We often browse the Shorewest Realty website, dreamily evaluating the newly available bungalows in our favorite areas. How wonderful it will be when we have our own place and we can make it what we want.
Alas, that won't be for a good, long while--negative income does not a mortgage payment make. So for the time being we have settled, yet again. But I think it's our best bad option yet!
At 49th and Lloyd, most people relatively familiar with Milwaukee would say we've anchored ourselves firmly in the hood. True--if you venture two blocks north on our very street, you might feel a bit more comfortable with a can of Mace in your purse, especially after dark. But my notion of the hood has changed drastically since we've lived here, and I think the suburbanites are a little too heavy on the generalizations. You would be very correct to assert that this ain't Tosa. We have diversity galore, we've got the occasional boarded-up home, we've even got mounted police cruising our street (which to me, by the way, is freaking awesome). But we are also one block from Hi Mount (in fact, we share an alley with the lucky folks who reside there), and two blocks from Washington Blvd; in my mind these are two of the grandest, most lovely streets in the city. Therefore, if you ask me, we are moving up in the world!
Since school is out and I'm working part-time, I feel it is my duty to explore this wondrous area. I take long, slow jogs on hot sunny days, up and down the numbered streets, admiring the homes (some grand, some tiny, but each one different, unique) and the gardens (many mature and absolutely stunning, meticulously tended). I take my time through the 50s, especially down 51st and up 53rd, then follow Lloyd up to about 68th street and turn back through the Highlands to admire what is definitely NOT the hood (I made an entry about the Highlands a couple of years ago; historic and pristine, there are no boarded up homes there). I jog back down Washington Blvd, going out of my way to run through any available sprinklers, and end with a wild and half-dead sprint up Hi Mount, enjoying the shade of the huge canopy. Before you know it, I am home:
Alas, that won't be for a good, long while--negative income does not a mortgage payment make. So for the time being we have settled, yet again. But I think it's our best bad option yet!
At 49th and Lloyd, most people relatively familiar with Milwaukee would say we've anchored ourselves firmly in the hood. True--if you venture two blocks north on our very street, you might feel a bit more comfortable with a can of Mace in your purse, especially after dark. But my notion of the hood has changed drastically since we've lived here, and I think the suburbanites are a little too heavy on the generalizations. You would be very correct to assert that this ain't Tosa. We have diversity galore, we've got the occasional boarded-up home, we've even got mounted police cruising our street (which to me, by the way, is freaking awesome). But we are also one block from Hi Mount (in fact, we share an alley with the lucky folks who reside there), and two blocks from Washington Blvd; in my mind these are two of the grandest, most lovely streets in the city. Therefore, if you ask me, we are moving up in the world!
Since school is out and I'm working part-time, I feel it is my duty to explore this wondrous area. I take long, slow jogs on hot sunny days, up and down the numbered streets, admiring the homes (some grand, some tiny, but each one different, unique) and the gardens (many mature and absolutely stunning, meticulously tended). I take my time through the 50s, especially down 51st and up 53rd, then follow Lloyd up to about 68th street and turn back through the Highlands to admire what is definitely NOT the hood (I made an entry about the Highlands a couple of years ago; historic and pristine, there are no boarded up homes there). I jog back down Washington Blvd, going out of my way to run through any available sprinklers, and end with a wild and half-dead sprint up Hi Mount, enjoying the shade of the huge canopy. Before you know it, I am home:
Yes, that is our monstrosity. It's gorgeous, but it needs work. A LOT of work. But that's ok; we're happy. We have either one, or six years left in this city. But we are home.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Emergence
It has been so long since I even really considered writing in this blog. I feel like no one will think to read it anymore but that's ok, this is kind of a test run anyway--I'm not sure it will stick, I'm going to try to slither back into it. Life has been too crazy to indulge in writing 'for fun'. It seems like we, as a family, have kind of hunkered down and hidden out for a lot of this year hoping to wait out the worst of the storm(s). There were some moments of emergence and some of victory--we haven't been lazy; on the contrary I think we've worked harder as an aggregate than we ever have. But it seemed more a matter of necessity than anything else, and the accomplishments have been hard-earned and not without bittersweet reminders of what was lost.
Lately, though, I've been thinking a lot about what we might have gained from all of this. Unexpected change brings inevitable turmoil, but the human response to turmoil is full of surprises, little miracles cloaked in necessity's clothing--the truth of the matter is, we don't have to do all, or any, of the things we do. Every action is the result of a decision; we are lucky enough, or cursed enough, to have that capability. I look back on this year and I realize how many people decided to do little amazing and wonderful things--unselfish, utterly helpful and supportive things. I often allow myself to feel like we live in a world of cold and unrelenting competition, that people are primarily self-interested and thrive off of others' failures. But when I think back on the past months, what comes to mind now is how many close friends and family have put in a lot of time and effort--hard work, really--simply to help each other succeed. People stepped up and came together in a truly amazing way. We are such a hodge podge, a real melting pot of step-, half-, in-law, sweetheart, 2nd/3rd, twice removed, old friend/new friend, and so on and so forth...many people defy category or title, really, but are nonetheless now part of the fabric of our survival and our success. I wish, so strongly sometimes, that some of the events leading to the creation of this fabric could be reversed; that the unexpected change leading to the turmoil leading to the decisions leading to the miracles could have been a little (or a lot) less terrifying, less life-altering...but even so, I would never want to un-weave what has so artfully been created because I have a sense that it will protect and sustain all of us in a very meaningful way for the rest of our lives.
So we continue to emerge, I think a little more confidently knowing that the fabric is there. Thanksgiving, to me, will be the true marker of how far we've come--together. To think that nearly a year ago we were all together and we had no idea what could be, what was possible--there was so much love but we were still kind of separate, timid, distant. There's no need for that now. We've been thrown in, woven together, and even though we still sometimes kind of want to kill each other I think we realize how truly lucky we are. I can't wait to be with everyone, to experience the culinary masterpieces of the more kitchen-oriented among us (ie, not me--another reason I dearly love and appreciate my family!), and to indulge in the warmth of togetherness and survival. We have a long way to go but I truly believe the foundation is there. We deserve a celebration.
Lately, though, I've been thinking a lot about what we might have gained from all of this. Unexpected change brings inevitable turmoil, but the human response to turmoil is full of surprises, little miracles cloaked in necessity's clothing--the truth of the matter is, we don't have to do all, or any, of the things we do. Every action is the result of a decision; we are lucky enough, or cursed enough, to have that capability. I look back on this year and I realize how many people decided to do little amazing and wonderful things--unselfish, utterly helpful and supportive things. I often allow myself to feel like we live in a world of cold and unrelenting competition, that people are primarily self-interested and thrive off of others' failures. But when I think back on the past months, what comes to mind now is how many close friends and family have put in a lot of time and effort--hard work, really--simply to help each other succeed. People stepped up and came together in a truly amazing way. We are such a hodge podge, a real melting pot of step-, half-, in-law, sweetheart, 2nd/3rd, twice removed, old friend/new friend, and so on and so forth...many people defy category or title, really, but are nonetheless now part of the fabric of our survival and our success. I wish, so strongly sometimes, that some of the events leading to the creation of this fabric could be reversed; that the unexpected change leading to the turmoil leading to the decisions leading to the miracles could have been a little (or a lot) less terrifying, less life-altering...but even so, I would never want to un-weave what has so artfully been created because I have a sense that it will protect and sustain all of us in a very meaningful way for the rest of our lives.
So we continue to emerge, I think a little more confidently knowing that the fabric is there. Thanksgiving, to me, will be the true marker of how far we've come--together. To think that nearly a year ago we were all together and we had no idea what could be, what was possible--there was so much love but we were still kind of separate, timid, distant. There's no need for that now. We've been thrown in, woven together, and even though we still sometimes kind of want to kill each other I think we realize how truly lucky we are. I can't wait to be with everyone, to experience the culinary masterpieces of the more kitchen-oriented among us (ie, not me--another reason I dearly love and appreciate my family!), and to indulge in the warmth of togetherness and survival. We have a long way to go but I truly believe the foundation is there. We deserve a celebration.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
MY APOLOGY
I'm sorry for the indulgence of my last entry. Having a blog, it is so easy to want to spread the wealth of one's emotions among all friends and acquaintances--how convenient; one half-hour and a click and the unhappiness is effectively an epidemic!
It's not fair, I know. It is, however, what inevitably happens at 2 am in a hospital when you can't sleep and you (unfortunately) have access to a computer.
At any rate, things improve. I know this, we all know this, but in the heat of the moment it doesn't stop us from being alarmist, histrionic. At first I told myself it was the 'unexpected' that really killed me, but I think I know better now. To see a parent incapacitated, for any reason, at any time in life, is devastating. What's kind of funny is that I am only now realizing that I've known many people who have been in a similar situation. I just never really understood.
Anyway, for more detailed information you can go to:
http://www.stroke.org/site/PageServer?pagename=EFFECT
And read about Right-Hemisphere stroke. Most of the information is right on, as it relates to my mom.
It's not fair, I know. It is, however, what inevitably happens at 2 am in a hospital when you can't sleep and you (unfortunately) have access to a computer.
At any rate, things improve. I know this, we all know this, but in the heat of the moment it doesn't stop us from being alarmist, histrionic. At first I told myself it was the 'unexpected' that really killed me, but I think I know better now. To see a parent incapacitated, for any reason, at any time in life, is devastating. What's kind of funny is that I am only now realizing that I've known many people who have been in a similar situation. I just never really understood.
Anyway, for more detailed information you can go to:
http://www.stroke.org/site/PageServer?pagename=EFFECT
And read about Right-Hemisphere stroke. Most of the information is right on, as it relates to my mom.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
To write this is torture, but I can only hope it may bring some small amount of relief. Not that I could sleep, anyway. The ‘sleeping’ chairs, they’re about as comfortable as a mattress made of cardboard.
The force of the past weeks is enough to fell me. Everything, nothing. Everything, then nothing. The anticipation. The exhilaration. There was never anxiety or regret when it came to him, to us. We had only everything and we held it tightly, knowing how it would fly. And it did. The finest, most utterly defining and indefinite moments; the ones that sustain you, that lift and fulfill you. They flew, and then, with so little time for absorption or introspection, this inexplicably harsh transition, a sudden tumble, the fall. The lump in the throat, the loss of control. Disbelief, panic, shock. What ended, what began?
Life is happening at a rate and rhythm I can’t keep up with or comprehend. I have so little sense of place, of belonging. I am here, but I was here before for some entirely different reason that now seems bizarrely distant; and then I was there, and now I’m back; and he is there (which is just shitty, because I need him), and they are here. And she is here. And none of us are home.
How the entirety of one’s life concept disintegrates at the foot of one miniscule organic malfunction.
How the role of caregiver is passed and received, adopted and relinquished, because it must be, because there is no other way. Because the one who always filled that role so rightly and competently and completely is suddenly the one who needs care, and we all begin to struggle, out of necessity, in our little inadequate ways, to fill those shoes, to assume that part, to begin to attempt to repay what we suddenly realize is a lifetime of debt. It came so naturally to her. She is so good at it; she relished it and perhaps at times despised it; but it’s who she is.
Swallow, think. Stop thinking. Breathe. This sterile room full of light, sound, and doubt. And to think, two weeks following a house overflowing with light, sound, and joy. How to comprehend such contrasts? How could this possibly have happened? What do we do now? Who will take care of us?
The force of the past weeks is enough to fell me. Everything, nothing. Everything, then nothing. The anticipation. The exhilaration. There was never anxiety or regret when it came to him, to us. We had only everything and we held it tightly, knowing how it would fly. And it did. The finest, most utterly defining and indefinite moments; the ones that sustain you, that lift and fulfill you. They flew, and then, with so little time for absorption or introspection, this inexplicably harsh transition, a sudden tumble, the fall. The lump in the throat, the loss of control. Disbelief, panic, shock. What ended, what began?
Life is happening at a rate and rhythm I can’t keep up with or comprehend. I have so little sense of place, of belonging. I am here, but I was here before for some entirely different reason that now seems bizarrely distant; and then I was there, and now I’m back; and he is there (which is just shitty, because I need him), and they are here. And she is here. And none of us are home.
How the entirety of one’s life concept disintegrates at the foot of one miniscule organic malfunction.
How the role of caregiver is passed and received, adopted and relinquished, because it must be, because there is no other way. Because the one who always filled that role so rightly and competently and completely is suddenly the one who needs care, and we all begin to struggle, out of necessity, in our little inadequate ways, to fill those shoes, to assume that part, to begin to attempt to repay what we suddenly realize is a lifetime of debt. It came so naturally to her. She is so good at it; she relished it and perhaps at times despised it; but it’s who she is.
Swallow, think. Stop thinking. Breathe. This sterile room full of light, sound, and doubt. And to think, two weeks following a house overflowing with light, sound, and joy. How to comprehend such contrasts? How could this possibly have happened? What do we do now? Who will take care of us?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Let it not snow...please?
I learned early on that mid-November in Wisconsin is the beginning of the snow season, AKA hell. We had some flurries last week, and then last night we had a real shower....nothing out of the ordinary, but when my friend left our house last night there was a definite layer of snow on her car. My heart literally hurt to see it, because it's very beautiful, and yet so utterly ominous.
It was gone by the morning. I was surprised that I felt a little disappointed. That's the thing about snow--to some degree, I absolutely love it, and I love the winter. If winter lasted two months here, maybe even three, I think I could stand it. But after having experienced the euphoria of 'the first snow' last year, I know that what last night really meant was the beginning of four, maybe five, months of freezing, muddy, icy miserableness. In that light, it doesn't seem quite so lovely.
To be fair, the next month will probably not be miserable. Pre-Christmas ice and snow is kind of sweet and charming, and breaking out the boots and parka is kind of fun--for a little while. It's seasonal. People expect it, even look forward to it. But after the joys of the holiday season fade, we begin to grow weary...and then by late January we're all pretty crabby...and by the end of February, we're just pissed off...and by mid-March we've pretty much lost our will to live.
I know I need to live in the moment, to have a less negative outlook. Maybe this winter won't be as bad as the last. Maybe my *3.5 week (WOOHOO!!)* southwest sojourn will revive me and break up the winter just enough to get me through.
I will try to enjoy the winter this year. That's my goal. But I can't guarantee that my next five posts will not be about how much I hate the Wisconsin climate. I mean, seriously--it was 95 in El Cajon today. 95!!! I'm a desert creature. I'm still not entirely sure I'm made for this place.
It was gone by the morning. I was surprised that I felt a little disappointed. That's the thing about snow--to some degree, I absolutely love it, and I love the winter. If winter lasted two months here, maybe even three, I think I could stand it. But after having experienced the euphoria of 'the first snow' last year, I know that what last night really meant was the beginning of four, maybe five, months of freezing, muddy, icy miserableness. In that light, it doesn't seem quite so lovely.
To be fair, the next month will probably not be miserable. Pre-Christmas ice and snow is kind of sweet and charming, and breaking out the boots and parka is kind of fun--for a little while. It's seasonal. People expect it, even look forward to it. But after the joys of the holiday season fade, we begin to grow weary...and then by late January we're all pretty crabby...and by the end of February, we're just pissed off...and by mid-March we've pretty much lost our will to live.
I know I need to live in the moment, to have a less negative outlook. Maybe this winter won't be as bad as the last. Maybe my *3.5 week (WOOHOO!!)* southwest sojourn will revive me and break up the winter just enough to get me through.
I will try to enjoy the winter this year. That's my goal. But I can't guarantee that my next five posts will not be about how much I hate the Wisconsin climate. I mean, seriously--it was 95 in El Cajon today. 95!!! I'm a desert creature. I'm still not entirely sure I'm made for this place.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
change?
Well, this country continues to move like a drunk turtle in its convoluted (and confounding) journey toward, presumably, equal opportunity and equal rights for all of its citizens. Last night was unspeakably glorious and yet quietly, bitterly tasteless; the glory, overall, masked the tastelessness, but I'm very, very sad that my home state contributed as much to the latter as to the former. It seems like Americans just always need someone to pick on. Sure, we will elect someone as President who is not lily white--and that's absolutely wonderful--but to compensate, we will literally strip another minority of their right to marry the person they love. It's beyond understanding, it's utterly wrong. The California Supreme Court upheld the legal right of all of its citizens to marry the person of their choosing, and then a bunch of self-righteous, ignorant people with, apparently, nothing better to do on the eve of a truly momentous election, ran a spiteful, wasteful, frighteningly well-organized multi-million dollar campaign that accomplished what? The hurt and humiliation of a minority that had finally been vindicated by their home state? I personally see no other outcome, though so many seem to be celebrating the fact that their version of marriage has been 'protected'--whatever that means.
I guess in some ways, it's not that surprising. A certain fraction of conservatives knew they were going to lose this election. And they didn't really care for John McCain, anyway, since he wasn't basing his entire campaign on achieving 'moral' victories for the religious right, as Bush did. So because he was going to lose, and because he wasn't going to push their moral agenda anyway, they had to find another way to bring bigotry back into this election.
Nation-wide, bigotry lost. I am so profoundly grateful. In January we will have a President who is intelligent, introspective, well-spoken, well-educated, and who utterly exemplifies whatever remains of our ever-touted American dream. Enough Americans finally managed to recognize that those qualities matter, and that race does not.
California, however, is losing so much of the progressiveness that once gave it its sparkle, and its power. In Florida and Arizona, it's equally disappointing but perhaps less critical, because the rest of this country looks to California as a harbinger of social change. I guess I just want to ask 52% of California voters why--honestly, why, how--they feel good about overturning the mandate of their state supreme court, a body that is there to help us legally uphold the constitution and the rights of all people, simply in order to bar their fellow citizens from their personal happiness?
I wish this whole entry could be about singing the praises of Barack Obama, and of our country, which did the right thing and voted him into office. It's hard to be 100% happy, though, because it means forgetting about a group of people who really got screwed yesterday, many of them people I am friends with, people I love and respect. We have made strides, but we have so far to go. I think overall, I'm glad to have time to recover from the stresses of this election. It's bittersweet, however, because here are Matt and I happily planning a wedding, looking forward to the joys and priveleges of a shared, married life, when others perfectly equal to us in love and dedication have just been told, yet again, that they aren't allowed to do the same.
I guess in some ways, it's not that surprising. A certain fraction of conservatives knew they were going to lose this election. And they didn't really care for John McCain, anyway, since he wasn't basing his entire campaign on achieving 'moral' victories for the religious right, as Bush did. So because he was going to lose, and because he wasn't going to push their moral agenda anyway, they had to find another way to bring bigotry back into this election.
Nation-wide, bigotry lost. I am so profoundly grateful. In January we will have a President who is intelligent, introspective, well-spoken, well-educated, and who utterly exemplifies whatever remains of our ever-touted American dream. Enough Americans finally managed to recognize that those qualities matter, and that race does not.
California, however, is losing so much of the progressiveness that once gave it its sparkle, and its power. In Florida and Arizona, it's equally disappointing but perhaps less critical, because the rest of this country looks to California as a harbinger of social change. I guess I just want to ask 52% of California voters why--honestly, why, how--they feel good about overturning the mandate of their state supreme court, a body that is there to help us legally uphold the constitution and the rights of all people, simply in order to bar their fellow citizens from their personal happiness?
I wish this whole entry could be about singing the praises of Barack Obama, and of our country, which did the right thing and voted him into office. It's hard to be 100% happy, though, because it means forgetting about a group of people who really got screwed yesterday, many of them people I am friends with, people I love and respect. We have made strides, but we have so far to go. I think overall, I'm glad to have time to recover from the stresses of this election. It's bittersweet, however, because here are Matt and I happily planning a wedding, looking forward to the joys and priveleges of a shared, married life, when others perfectly equal to us in love and dedication have just been told, yet again, that they aren't allowed to do the same.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Second annual weekend in Door County, Uncut and Uncensored!!!
Ok, don't get your hopes up, our weekend wasn't that exciting....it was more relaxing, and lovely. We got up there Thursday night, and commenced the touristing on Friday morning, which was great, because we had an extra day this time. We walked around 
Fish Creek with the dogs, who got an obscene amount of attention, unsurprisingly, and we ate sandwiches in Peninsula State Park. We then did some wine tasting at Stone's Throw Winery, which we've done before, and which is lots of fun. Bought a few bottles of wine, went home, and played with the dogs outside. The dogs had arguably the best weekend of their short, destructive lives. We had them outside at every opportunity--did a ton of ball-throwing for Charlie, and Vinny spent most of his time growling at other inhabitants of our condo complex or rolling in goose poop (classy, as always). Here are a couple videos of the dogs (and us) having fun:
We also watched the presidential debate, about which I will only make this one itty-bitty innocuous comment: gobama.
Then on Saturday, we took a 10 mile bike ride through Peninsula State Park, which was unequivocally gorgeous and perfect that particular day, and later on bought some souvenir jam and mustard and then ate delicious Italian food at home while watching more of John Adams. Our night was spent mostly indoors due to the weather, which brought light rain and at least a ten degree drop in temperature, but it was actually AWESOME because our condo had a fireplace--oh my god, I love fireplaces.
We were sad to leave today. It was so nice getting away, and once again, beautiful Door County succeeded in reviving us after a stressful couple of weeks. It's so nice to be reminded of the loveliness and diversity of Wisconsin--there's really a lot of wonderful things here, and it's awesome to be able to take advantage of them.
In closing, GO BREW CREW!!!! Our adopted team is going to the playoffs, and we couldn't be more excited.
Fish Creek with the dogs, who got an obscene amount of attention, unsurprisingly, and we ate sandwiches in Peninsula State Park. We then did some wine tasting at Stone's Throw Winery, which we've done before, and which is lots of fun. Bought a few bottles of wine, went home, and played with the dogs outside. The dogs had arguably the best weekend of their short, destructive lives. We had them outside at every opportunity--did a ton of ball-throwing for Charlie, and Vinny spent most of his time growling at other inhabitants of our condo complex or rolling in goose poop (classy, as always). Here are a couple videos of the dogs (and us) having fun:We also watched the presidential debate, about which I will only make this one itty-bitty innocuous comment: gobama.
Then on Saturday, we took a 10 mile bike ride through Peninsula State Park, which was unequivocally gorgeous and perfect that particular day, and later on bought some souvenir jam and mustard and then ate delicious Italian food at home while watching more of John Adams. Our night was spent mostly indoors due to the weather, which brought light rain and at least a ten degree drop in temperature, but it was actually AWESOME because our condo had a fireplace--oh my god, I love fireplaces.
We were sad to leave today. It was so nice getting away, and once again, beautiful Door County succeeded in reviving us after a stressful couple of weeks. It's so nice to be reminded of the loveliness and diversity of Wisconsin--there's really a lot of wonderful things here, and it's awesome to be able to take advantage of them.
In closing, GO BREW CREW!!!! Our adopted team is going to the playoffs, and we couldn't be more excited.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
"America, we are better than this" Part Two
Ok, to set the record straight, I'm not a Democrat. I'm really not. And hey, I might be worse things, actually! But that's beside the point. Anyway, I don't want this blog to become Obama Fest '08. I like the guy, really I do. He's intelligent, accomplished, inspiring and idealistic, and I can't help but want my country to be headed by someone of that caliber. But in general, I think the two party system is crap, and I live for the day when there are legitimate third and fourth party candidates and we actually have the luxury of 'choice' in this country.
For now, however, I just implore anyone and everyone who ever liked McCain (and I count myself among them) to watch his running mate Sara Palin's ABC interview with Charles Gibson. You can find most of it online. I think it spells out what we are really going to be voting for (or against) in November. Palin's inexperience (ignorance?) speaks volumes for itself in this interview, and I have no desire to delve into the ineptitude of her politics. I will say, though, that as a woman--a woman who truly believes that women are going to change the nature and course of this nation, and ultimately this planet--I am supremely disappointed, and I'm not ashamed to say it. She comes across as ignorant and uninformed, utterly contrived--a 'pitbull', sure! But to what end?? That she tries to fist-pump her way out of every situation in which it's so pathetically obvious she has no idea what she's talking about?? I'm embarrassed. I want Hilary back, and I never even loved Hilary that much to begin with!
Well, sorry. That's the end of the political rant, for the time being. I promise the next entry will be on giving injections, assessing babies, and having no idea what I'm doing in the hospital--perhaps a bit more light-hearted, but multitudes less important.
For now, however, I just implore anyone and everyone who ever liked McCain (and I count myself among them) to watch his running mate Sara Palin's ABC interview with Charles Gibson. You can find most of it online. I think it spells out what we are really going to be voting for (or against) in November. Palin's inexperience (ignorance?) speaks volumes for itself in this interview, and I have no desire to delve into the ineptitude of her politics. I will say, though, that as a woman--a woman who truly believes that women are going to change the nature and course of this nation, and ultimately this planet--I am supremely disappointed, and I'm not ashamed to say it. She comes across as ignorant and uninformed, utterly contrived--a 'pitbull', sure! But to what end?? That she tries to fist-pump her way out of every situation in which it's so pathetically obvious she has no idea what she's talking about?? I'm embarrassed. I want Hilary back, and I never even loved Hilary that much to begin with!
Well, sorry. That's the end of the political rant, for the time being. I promise the next entry will be on giving injections, assessing babies, and having no idea what I'm doing in the hospital--perhaps a bit more light-hearted, but multitudes less important.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
"America, we are better than this."
I'm compelled to write, briefly, while watching Obama accept the democratic nomination.
"John McCain voted with President Bush 90% of the time. Do you really want to elect someone as President who thought that Bush was right 90% of the time?!"
Whoever reads this (and I don't blame you if you've given up on me by now), did you watch this speech? Oh my god, might we possibly have an intelligent, articulate, accomplished, inspired person as OUR PRESIDENT??! I still can't even believe it. I really don't want to get my hopes up, but as time goes on, I become more surprised and excited by this man, and more invested in his bid for presidency.
"That is the promise of America. The promise that we not only work and succeed for ourselves, but we work and succeed because we rise and fall as one nation."
WHAT? We should care about EACH OTHER in this country?
Could this possibly happen? Is there even the slightest chance that social security will be available to my generation when we're unable to care for ourselves? That our children and our children's children will always have access to health care? That this country will even survive nuclear attack or environmental defeat long enough for our children's children to care about their health care??
"I've got news for you, John McCain: we ALL put our country first....what has also been lost during these last 8 years is our sense of common purpose. We may not agree on abortion, but surely we must agree that we need to reduce the amount of unwanted pregnancies in this country....I know there are differences on same-sex marriages, but surely we believe that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit their loved ones in the hospital, and to live lives free of discrimination...."
"I stand before you tonight because all across America, something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has NEVER been about me. It's about you."
"America, we cannot turn back, we cannot walk alone."
I didn't expect it, but this was a pretty powerful moment in my life. I really do believe that my future rests somewhat on this election, and I'm not really sure we will have a moment like this in American politics for a very long time.
"John McCain voted with President Bush 90% of the time. Do you really want to elect someone as President who thought that Bush was right 90% of the time?!"
Whoever reads this (and I don't blame you if you've given up on me by now), did you watch this speech? Oh my god, might we possibly have an intelligent, articulate, accomplished, inspired person as OUR PRESIDENT??! I still can't even believe it. I really don't want to get my hopes up, but as time goes on, I become more surprised and excited by this man, and more invested in his bid for presidency.
"That is the promise of America. The promise that we not only work and succeed for ourselves, but we work and succeed because we rise and fall as one nation."
WHAT? We should care about EACH OTHER in this country?
Could this possibly happen? Is there even the slightest chance that social security will be available to my generation when we're unable to care for ourselves? That our children and our children's children will always have access to health care? That this country will even survive nuclear attack or environmental defeat long enough for our children's children to care about their health care??
"I've got news for you, John McCain: we ALL put our country first....what has also been lost during these last 8 years is our sense of common purpose. We may not agree on abortion, but surely we must agree that we need to reduce the amount of unwanted pregnancies in this country....I know there are differences on same-sex marriages, but surely we believe that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit their loved ones in the hospital, and to live lives free of discrimination...."
"I stand before you tonight because all across America, something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has NEVER been about me. It's about you."
"America, we cannot turn back, we cannot walk alone."
I didn't expect it, but this was a pretty powerful moment in my life. I really do believe that my future rests somewhat on this election, and I'm not really sure we will have a moment like this in American politics for a very long time.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Welcome to the Brickleach Zoo!
Well. Where do I start?
I know I've written about Snoop the devil cat several times, and as a quick update on him, he continues to emulate satan increasingly accurately. That might be a little too harsh--I think my opinion on this subject is slightly skewed due to the fact that I'm realizing I'm just not really a cat person. Devil cat, like most cats, is supremely self-interested. He really has no desire, ever, to be cute and nice and cuddly like a good pet should be. He harasses people and other animals indiscriminately, just for his own amusement. He wakes us up mrrrowwwing at 4:30 in the morning because he's bored and wants Vinny to come play with him. He breaks out of the house and is gone for days, and then I receive phone calls in the middle of the night from people living several blocks away saying that my cat is in their yard, and he seems SO very scared, and he's trying to climb up their screen door and get into their house. Yeah, scared. Right. His entire life revolves around finding new people or animals to mess with, and they are merely pawns in his twisted little game.
So, in conclusion: I do not believe that Snoop deserved to be on kitty death row. He's been rather amusing at times, he's kept Vinny company, and he hasn't scratched the shit out of me in at least three weeks now, so we're on relatively good terms. However, I would not be terribly upset, you see, if he miraculously found a home on a farm somewhere with hundreds of other devil cats and just harassed them for the rest of his life.
Second best option: my teacher friend, for god knows what reason, thinks he's cute, and wants to adopt him. SWEEEEEET!!!!!
Don't feel too bad for her. She's a self proclaimed cat person, and she's had Snoopy at her house several times when we've been out of town, so she pretty much knows what's up. She just has a higher pain tolerance, I guess.
So devil cat is going to Jeanne's house this coming Friday before we go on vacation, and cross your fingers, he will likely end up staying there. Until, of course, he breaks out, and makes it back to our house, and, like the worst nightmare you can imagine, I hear him mrrowwwing out in the yard at 4:30 in the morning. I really don't want to jinx myself, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least.
In anticipation of all of this, Matt and I were talking about how Vinny will be lonely, and how perhaps we should adopt another dog. We were sort of torn on this, but we decided that when we get back from our trip in August we would see if we could find a dog who is a bit older, calmer, house trained, and could be a companion for the Vin. Probably one day after we made this decision, one of the cutest dogs I have ever seen shows up in my neighbor's yard. My neighbors inform me that her owner's father is dying of cancer, and he's lost his job, or some terrible story like that, and they'd really love to keep her but they already have two dogs and two kids so they're hoping they'll be able to find a good home for her.
The next afternoon she's chilling in our house.
Charlie, an aussie/beagle mix. She's younger than we had originally wanted (7 months), but she's the SWEETEST little girl and she's really been very good. The funniest thing is, she loves Snoopy, and now we officially have a trio of terror going on:
Like I said before, if all goes as planned, devil cat will be re-homed in less than a week and we will officially be only a dog family, from here on out, FOREVER. But surprisingly, Charlie's addition has kind of brought some peace to the household. The cat is so excited about her that he's actually kind of shut up for the past few days, and Vinny keeps himself occupied trying to steal her bones and chew toys, and the dogs run themselves half to death in the backyard and are relatively quiet inside. Charlie is an absolute lover and she follows us around constantly, wagging her entire rear end and smiling. It's nice.
So, that's the news here. Otherwise, I'm finished with summer session in four days, we're going home next Saturday, and we are enjoying the sun and clear skies. Having another dog is a great excuse to go on walks, and sit outside chatting and throwing the ball (Charlie is exceptionally good at fetch, and she makes Vinny more excited about the game, although he really just goes after her instead of the ball). Summer continues to be lovely.
I know I've written about Snoop the devil cat several times, and as a quick update on him, he continues to emulate satan increasingly accurately. That might be a little too harsh--I think my opinion on this subject is slightly skewed due to the fact that I'm realizing I'm just not really a cat person. Devil cat, like most cats, is supremely self-interested. He really has no desire, ever, to be cute and nice and cuddly like a good pet should be. He harasses people and other animals indiscriminately, just for his own amusement. He wakes us up mrrrowwwing at 4:30 in the morning because he's bored and wants Vinny to come play with him. He breaks out of the house and is gone for days, and then I receive phone calls in the middle of the night from people living several blocks away saying that my cat is in their yard, and he seems SO very scared, and he's trying to climb up their screen door and get into their house. Yeah, scared. Right. His entire life revolves around finding new people or animals to mess with, and they are merely pawns in his twisted little game.
So, in conclusion: I do not believe that Snoop deserved to be on kitty death row. He's been rather amusing at times, he's kept Vinny company, and he hasn't scratched the shit out of me in at least three weeks now, so we're on relatively good terms. However, I would not be terribly upset, you see, if he miraculously found a home on a farm somewhere with hundreds of other devil cats and just harassed them for the rest of his life.
Second best option: my teacher friend, for god knows what reason, thinks he's cute, and wants to adopt him. SWEEEEEET!!!!!
Don't feel too bad for her. She's a self proclaimed cat person, and she's had Snoopy at her house several times when we've been out of town, so she pretty much knows what's up. She just has a higher pain tolerance, I guess.
So devil cat is going to Jeanne's house this coming Friday before we go on vacation, and cross your fingers, he will likely end up staying there. Until, of course, he breaks out, and makes it back to our house, and, like the worst nightmare you can imagine, I hear him mrrowwwing out in the yard at 4:30 in the morning. I really don't want to jinx myself, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least.
In anticipation of all of this, Matt and I were talking about how Vinny will be lonely, and how perhaps we should adopt another dog. We were sort of torn on this, but we decided that when we get back from our trip in August we would see if we could find a dog who is a bit older, calmer, house trained, and could be a companion for the Vin. Probably one day after we made this decision, one of the cutest dogs I have ever seen shows up in my neighbor's yard. My neighbors inform me that her owner's father is dying of cancer, and he's lost his job, or some terrible story like that, and they'd really love to keep her but they already have two dogs and two kids so they're hoping they'll be able to find a good home for her.
The next afternoon she's chilling in our house.
Charlie, an aussie/beagle mix. She's younger than we had originally wanted (7 months), but she's the SWEETEST little girl and she's really been very good. The funniest thing is, she loves Snoopy, and now we officially have a trio of terror going on:
Like I said before, if all goes as planned, devil cat will be re-homed in less than a week and we will officially be only a dog family, from here on out, FOREVER. But surprisingly, Charlie's addition has kind of brought some peace to the household. The cat is so excited about her that he's actually kind of shut up for the past few days, and Vinny keeps himself occupied trying to steal her bones and chew toys, and the dogs run themselves half to death in the backyard and are relatively quiet inside. Charlie is an absolute lover and she follows us around constantly, wagging her entire rear end and smiling. It's nice.
So, that's the news here. Otherwise, I'm finished with summer session in four days, we're going home next Saturday, and we are enjoying the sun and clear skies. Having another dog is a great excuse to go on walks, and sit outside chatting and throwing the ball (Charlie is exceptionally good at fetch, and she makes Vinny more excited about the game, although he really just goes after her instead of the ball). Summer continues to be lovely.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Beer Fest.
Ahhhh, summer in Milwaukee. It's like one big frat party. Every weekend there is some sort of 'fest'--Summerfest, Irish Fest, German Fest, Cheese Fest, Polish Fest, etc. And then there are the fests that try to trick you by not having 'fest' as the suffix: River Splash, Storming of the Bastille, Indian Summer, the list goes on and on. While I appreciate that outwardly these are all celebrations of diversity, it's become clear to me that really, every single festival revolves around the same thing: beer. I don't know why we kid ourselves anymore. We went to Cheese Fest yesterday with visions of blocks and blocks of free, wonderful, Wisconsin cheese. In actuality, a few scant bites of cheese were consumed, followed by beer after beer after beer after beer....not that we were disappointed. The weather was absolutely perfect, there was tremendous people watching, the live music was entertaining, and there was even a drag show. You might ask: what do drag queens have to do with cheese?!?! Well, here's the answer: beer. Lots of it.
Matt enjoys these activities because he's constantly hanging out with large groups of future nurses. Life's not bad if your Matt these days. Evidence:
The people I've met through my program are obscenely fun, and hardly a day goes by when there isn't some grand scheme to get a whole bunch of people together and go to a 'fest,' or have a bbq, or storm the public pool. Summer is flying by, though! The mosquitoes and lightning bugs aren't quite as numerous anymore, our second summer session is winding down, and Matt and I are excited about our August plans: home for a week and then to Dallas to visit Chris and Cindy.
Life continues to be action-packed and lovely. We're trying to live it up this summer, knowing now what awaits us around the middle of November...
Matt enjoys these activities because he's constantly hanging out with large groups of future nurses. Life's not bad if your Matt these days. Evidence:
The people I've met through my program are obscenely fun, and hardly a day goes by when there isn't some grand scheme to get a whole bunch of people together and go to a 'fest,' or have a bbq, or storm the public pool. Summer is flying by, though! The mosquitoes and lightning bugs aren't quite as numerous anymore, our second summer session is winding down, and Matt and I are excited about our August plans: home for a week and then to Dallas to visit Chris and Cindy.
Life continues to be action-packed and lovely. We're trying to live it up this summer, knowing now what awaits us around the middle of November...
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Just an update...
Well, a day in the life of me right now may consist of any or all of the following: running tests on fake urine; giving my lab partner a bed bath or looking into her ears or just generally being waaaaay up in her business (and she in mine); learning about genetic diseases or cancer or kidney problems; sticking my own finger to test blood glucose; catheterizing a few headless, limbless dummies, or perhaps dressing one of their many serious looking wounds; writing a nursing care plan; getting mutilated by monstrous mosquitoes while sprinting to and from the car; hyperventilating/getting a fat lip/spraining my ankle in a soccer game. You know, the usual.
Time is FLYING by, and I really love school. It's fun! We are always doing things; this is so key for me. I mean, the book learning can be important, but I really learn best by doing. I cannot wait to get into the hospital. I start clinical rotations in late August; I will be doing med/surg once a week and OB once a week, along with associated classes. I am already sleeping better than I have in years--I come home from school absolutely exhausted and actually, it's a great feeling. Nursing is so much about competency, and becoming competent at a skill can be stressful but is also very rewarding; every day I come home having learned to do something useful, something that I will be good at, something that will help people in some way. It's a very practical, applicable way of learning, and I like that. I never feel like I'm wasting my time or my brain space or my limited attention span on something that I don't need and want to learn.
And on top of all that, I've met some great people in my program and we've been having a blast getting to know each other. It's been a pretty action-packed summer so far, and there's much more to come: trips to Maine and San Diego and Dallas, lots more school, festivals on the weekends, much outdoor activity despite the humidity and the bug problem....although, speaking of bugs, there is one unexpected and fantastic up-side to the heat and humidity: LIGHTNING BUGS. Quite possibly the most awesome insects I've ever in my life seen (I'd never seen them before this summer); our lawn is like a fairy wonderland at twilight. They are absolutely everywhere, and Vinny is fascinated by them!
So, all in all, besides the sprained ankle and numerous mosquito bites, things are great right now. Summer is wonderful. I love being a student again!
Time is FLYING by, and I really love school. It's fun! We are always doing things; this is so key for me. I mean, the book learning can be important, but I really learn best by doing. I cannot wait to get into the hospital. I start clinical rotations in late August; I will be doing med/surg once a week and OB once a week, along with associated classes. I am already sleeping better than I have in years--I come home from school absolutely exhausted and actually, it's a great feeling. Nursing is so much about competency, and becoming competent at a skill can be stressful but is also very rewarding; every day I come home having learned to do something useful, something that I will be good at, something that will help people in some way. It's a very practical, applicable way of learning, and I like that. I never feel like I'm wasting my time or my brain space or my limited attention span on something that I don't need and want to learn.
And on top of all that, I've met some great people in my program and we've been having a blast getting to know each other. It's been a pretty action-packed summer so far, and there's much more to come: trips to Maine and San Diego and Dallas, lots more school, festivals on the weekends, much outdoor activity despite the humidity and the bug problem....although, speaking of bugs, there is one unexpected and fantastic up-side to the heat and humidity: LIGHTNING BUGS. Quite possibly the most awesome insects I've ever in my life seen (I'd never seen them before this summer); our lawn is like a fairy wonderland at twilight. They are absolutely everywhere, and Vinny is fascinated by them!
So, all in all, besides the sprained ankle and numerous mosquito bites, things are great right now. Summer is wonderful. I love being a student again!
Monday, May 26, 2008
And Summer Sprung
Time went so slowly this winter, but now that it's warming up the days seem to fly by. It definitely feels like summer today; hot and humid, and everyone is outside. Matt and I ran down to the track in Hart Park and did some laps, and we later ate dinner out in the yard, which was wonderful. The temperature was perfect, the breeze ever so slight. All of our neighbors were out, too, barbecuing, planting, chatting with each other. I got shot in the head by a nerf machine gun (our 5-year-old neighbor, Sam, has an incredible collection of harmless but ever-present weapons), but managed to get hold of one later and revenge was both close-range and extremely satisfying. Everyone is happy.
We went to Philadelphia this weekend for Claire's wedding. She is the first close friend of mine to get married, and hers was also the first wedding in which I've played the part of bridesmaid. As such, it made me realize just exactly how much work and planning and stress goes into something that is over in the wink of an eye. It was a beautiful wedding. I have known Claire since third grade and it was surreal but also very comforting seeing her marry the man that she is so obviously meant to be with. I know how cliche that sounds, but really, if you know Claire, and if you know Dave, you know that there is absolutely not a better match--it's almost uncanny how perfect, and necessary, they are for each other. I love them both very dearly. The wedding was good for me, too, and for Matt. I think it renewed our excitement about our own--not that we aren't always excited about it, but it's easy to get caught up in the stress of the planning and the details, and it's nice to be reminded that the best part of the whole thing is a) what it actually means, and b) having all the people you love together to celebrate it. I came away from the whole thing with tons of ideas and also with a very real sense of how soon this is going to happen for us--we are so excited. We are so ready.
Here are a few pictures from the wedding:
Other than all that, I am starting school tomorrow. I can't believe it. I'm more nervous than I'd like to admit; I feel like a kindergartener on the first day of school. I have no idea what I'm in for but I'm sure it will be a good thing overall. I can't wait to meet some new people and to gain some insight into what I actually want to do with (some of) my life. We're kind of thrown into the whole patient assessment thing right away, so within a couple of weeks I bet I'll have about 100 funny stories to tell. Check back for updates.
Wow, it suddenly became exceptionally windy outside. I wonder if we're destined for another epic thunderstorm tonight....
We went to Philadelphia this weekend for Claire's wedding. She is the first close friend of mine to get married, and hers was also the first wedding in which I've played the part of bridesmaid. As such, it made me realize just exactly how much work and planning and stress goes into something that is over in the wink of an eye. It was a beautiful wedding. I have known Claire since third grade and it was surreal but also very comforting seeing her marry the man that she is so obviously meant to be with. I know how cliche that sounds, but really, if you know Claire, and if you know Dave, you know that there is absolutely not a better match--it's almost uncanny how perfect, and necessary, they are for each other. I love them both very dearly. The wedding was good for me, too, and for Matt. I think it renewed our excitement about our own--not that we aren't always excited about it, but it's easy to get caught up in the stress of the planning and the details, and it's nice to be reminded that the best part of the whole thing is a) what it actually means, and b) having all the people you love together to celebrate it. I came away from the whole thing with tons of ideas and also with a very real sense of how soon this is going to happen for us--we are so excited. We are so ready.
Here are a few pictures from the wedding:
Other than all that, I am starting school tomorrow. I can't believe it. I'm more nervous than I'd like to admit; I feel like a kindergartener on the first day of school. I have no idea what I'm in for but I'm sure it will be a good thing overall. I can't wait to meet some new people and to gain some insight into what I actually want to do with (some of) my life. We're kind of thrown into the whole patient assessment thing right away, so within a couple of weeks I bet I'll have about 100 funny stories to tell. Check back for updates.
Wow, it suddenly became exceptionally windy outside. I wonder if we're destined for another epic thunderstorm tonight....
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Rebirth
Here is what a winter in the midwest teaches you, first and foremost: spending a couple of hours, even a few minutes, in the backyard or in the park, out of the confines of your small, well-insulated home; feeling the sun on your arms and legs, having the freedom to walk to the grocery store or the coffee shop or even just down the street; watching dogs and children smile and romp and roll around in the grass while your neighbors build a play house and plant new flowers in their front yard--these are by no means our unalienable, god-given rights. We are subject, always, to the whims of a natural force over which we have no control, and while Wisconsin may remind us of that fact (FAR) more often than California, we will always be reminded, nonetheless.
For me personally, this means two things. Firstly, I have never been so acutely aware of how important and invigorating it is to be outside, and now, any opportunity I have to do so has become almost an obligation, a responsibility. Secondly, I am beginning to understand why so many people put up with these horrendous, endless winters, why so many people spend their entire lives here, and never want to leave: it's because when the snow finally melts, and the sun appears, there is revealed, suddenly, alarmingly, the greenest trees, the brightest flowers, and the happiest human beings you will ever in your life see. It is such a hopeful, healthy, determined resurgence that I can't help but feel that we have been granted the opportunity to start over, to really truly make and meet our New Years resolutions, and to re-learn how to appreciate every single precious waking moment that we have.
For me personally, this means two things. Firstly, I have never been so acutely aware of how important and invigorating it is to be outside, and now, any opportunity I have to do so has become almost an obligation, a responsibility. Secondly, I am beginning to understand why so many people put up with these horrendous, endless winters, why so many people spend their entire lives here, and never want to leave: it's because when the snow finally melts, and the sun appears, there is revealed, suddenly, alarmingly, the greenest trees, the brightest flowers, and the happiest human beings you will ever in your life see. It is such a hopeful, healthy, determined resurgence that I can't help but feel that we have been granted the opportunity to start over, to really truly make and meet our New Years resolutions, and to re-learn how to appreciate every single precious waking moment that we have.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Emerging.
I'm honestly not really sure how to begin this post. I owe you an apology....it's been a good long while since I wrote, and it probably seems like I either fell off the face of the planet or just gave up on this whole blog thing altogether. But I assure you it's neither; on the contrary, it's more the fact that my life has been so chalk full of adventures and love and family that whenever I've gotten a spare moment I've been pretty much overwhelmed at the prospect of trying to write about it all. So I put it off, and now I'm even more overwhelmed but also feeling very guilty for neglecting what has turned into one of my most favorite projects. In conclusion, I will try to keep this entry shorter than it could be, and I have a good excuse: almost unbelievably, what lies ahead for us is infinitely more exciting than what has already been, and I promise that I will do a good deal more writing about all that as it comes. So this is just a quick catch-up, so that I'm no longer bogged down and can move on with all the joys that spring is slowly bringing.
In the interest of time, this will be a summary of sorts. I apologize for the formality, but I actually really like roman numerals.
I. MATT AND I ARE ENGAGED!!!!!!
Yeah, I'm aware that everyone and his/her mother already knows. But I still believe it's exciting enough news that the headline warrants caps and numerous exclamation points, and I own this blog and make all initial and final editing decisions, so there.
I sincerely apologize if we haven't gotten around to informing everyone of this fact individually, but hey, that's what the grapevine is for! And by the way, we have had an unbelievably effective grapevine. I think I was the first to inform about, oh, two people. Everyone I talked to after that was pretty much like, "yeah, old news." But in a happy way, of course. :) It's hard to say much more about this whole thing; the story is pretty sweet and involved my birthday, a scavenger hunt, and a ring combining heirlooms from both of our families (it's beautiful and perfect). At the risk of being waaaaay too mushy, I will just say that we are ridiculously in love and terribly excited about, and comfortable with, the prospect of spending our lives together. We've already started planning what I hope will be an intimate, family-oriented wedding, so there may be more details about that to come since I'm admittedly already obsessing about REALLY dumb things like possible wedding cupcake designs.
II. We went on vacation -- TO SOME PLACE WARM!!!!!!!
After careful consideration, I decided that this headline also deserved caps and exclamation points.
We went to Belize for a week with the Leaches, and had an absolutely wonderful time. We stayed in a resort right on the beach and it was gorgeous; here's pretty much the view from Jeff, Pat and Alex's room, and then a look back at our hotel from the water:
Pretty nice, huh? I can't even begin to explain how wonderful it was to feel the sun and the warmth; it was in the 80s most of the time we were there. We saw and did so much cool stuff while we were there, including but not limited to:
-Baking (aka, managing to procure an epic sunburn on day 1. Dumb.)
-Drinking Belikin Beer. A lot. Almost all the time, in fact.
-Visiting the Mayan ruins at Lamanai:
-Floating on inner tubes through lengthy caves with really cool rock formations.
-Petting Tapirs at the Belize Zoo.
-Taking ridiculously tiny airplanes out of the San Pedro airport on what seemed like a daily basis:
-Enjoying spectacular scenery at all times of the day and night:
In conclusion, it was amazing and I owe the Leaches my life for taking me along. No, really, I owe them my life, you know why? Because Milwaukee got 15 INCHES OF SNOW while we were gone. I swear. *Side note: that makes this winter officially the second snowiest on record. Sigh.
III. MY PARENTS CAME TO VISIT US!!!!!
Ok, I'm officially a fan of the sensationalist-style headline and I won't apologize for it. Plus, we really did have a fabulous time with my parents last week. They stayed at the Pfister, one of my most favorite old hotels, and I think I managed to show them almost every part of Milwaukee worth seeing. We of course went to the art museum and the Third Ward, had many awesome dinners, took Vinny for some nice walks, and talked a lot about wedding stuff. Thankfully, it was sunny for several of the days they were here (and even made it into the 40s), so I wasn't too mad when, inevitably, it snowed one day; and we tried to make the most of it by acting like snow is really nice and pretty and novel, which I know now is COMPLETELY untrue. I was sad to see them go but very happy that we got to spend a substantial amount of quality time together, especially since I was still on spring break and didn't have to work (yay!).
IV. I'll be damned--SPRING IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Knock on wood.)
We had a bit of a thunderstorm the other night and I lay awake (because I never sleep well during thunderstorms) feeling happy, and relieved. Thunderstorms remind me of the end of last summer, when we first arrived, when it was hot and muggy during the days and there was often thunder at night. The whole thing seemed to me to be a marker of some sort; we haven't had a thunderstorm in months and it was a welcome change from the Silent Killer (snow). Then this morning I heard on the radio that this weekend it will be partly sunny and in the 50s. I seriously felt choked up. I could cry from happiness just thinking about it right now.
Yes, this winter has really, truly worn me out. But I'm all the tougher for it, right? I feel like I should get some badge of honor, or a tee shirt: I Survived the Second Snowiest Milwaukee Winter on Record During my First Year as a Midwesterner. It's a little too long to be very catchy, I guess. Anyway, I'll officially put it out there: we are emerging from this seemingly endless, exhausting season in a cautiously joyous way. No doubt, we are still bloody, bruised and beaten; but we're also discreetly optimistic, tentatively eager, just waiting for that final certain sign before we begin an all-out frenzy of barbecuing, frisbee throwing, and uncategorized frolicking, at which point we will likely completely forget (PTSD-like) how shitty Midwest winters are until next Thanksgiving, when the beat-down will begin all over again. I for one am ready to start forgetting. Bring on the blissful ignorance!
In the interest of time, this will be a summary of sorts. I apologize for the formality, but I actually really like roman numerals.
I. MATT AND I ARE ENGAGED!!!!!!
Yeah, I'm aware that everyone and his/her mother already knows. But I still believe it's exciting enough news that the headline warrants caps and numerous exclamation points, and I own this blog and make all initial and final editing decisions, so there.
I sincerely apologize if we haven't gotten around to informing everyone of this fact individually, but hey, that's what the grapevine is for! And by the way, we have had an unbelievably effective grapevine. I think I was the first to inform about, oh, two people. Everyone I talked to after that was pretty much like, "yeah, old news." But in a happy way, of course. :) It's hard to say much more about this whole thing; the story is pretty sweet and involved my birthday, a scavenger hunt, and a ring combining heirlooms from both of our families (it's beautiful and perfect). At the risk of being waaaaay too mushy, I will just say that we are ridiculously in love and terribly excited about, and comfortable with, the prospect of spending our lives together. We've already started planning what I hope will be an intimate, family-oriented wedding, so there may be more details about that to come since I'm admittedly already obsessing about REALLY dumb things like possible wedding cupcake designs.
II. We went on vacation -- TO SOME PLACE WARM!!!!!!!
After careful consideration, I decided that this headline also deserved caps and exclamation points.
We went to Belize for a week with the Leaches, and had an absolutely wonderful time. We stayed in a resort right on the beach and it was gorgeous; here's pretty much the view from Jeff, Pat and Alex's room, and then a look back at our hotel from the water:
Pretty nice, huh? I can't even begin to explain how wonderful it was to feel the sun and the warmth; it was in the 80s most of the time we were there. We saw and did so much cool stuff while we were there, including but not limited to:
-Baking (aka, managing to procure an epic sunburn on day 1. Dumb.)
-Drinking Belikin Beer. A lot. Almost all the time, in fact.
-Visiting the Mayan ruins at Lamanai:
-Floating on inner tubes through lengthy caves with really cool rock formations.
-Petting Tapirs at the Belize Zoo.
-Taking ridiculously tiny airplanes out of the San Pedro airport on what seemed like a daily basis:
-Enjoying spectacular scenery at all times of the day and night:
In conclusion, it was amazing and I owe the Leaches my life for taking me along. No, really, I owe them my life, you know why? Because Milwaukee got 15 INCHES OF SNOW while we were gone. I swear. *Side note: that makes this winter officially the second snowiest on record. Sigh.
III. MY PARENTS CAME TO VISIT US!!!!!
Ok, I'm officially a fan of the sensationalist-style headline and I won't apologize for it. Plus, we really did have a fabulous time with my parents last week. They stayed at the Pfister, one of my most favorite old hotels, and I think I managed to show them almost every part of Milwaukee worth seeing. We of course went to the art museum and the Third Ward, had many awesome dinners, took Vinny for some nice walks, and talked a lot about wedding stuff. Thankfully, it was sunny for several of the days they were here (and even made it into the 40s), so I wasn't too mad when, inevitably, it snowed one day; and we tried to make the most of it by acting like snow is really nice and pretty and novel, which I know now is COMPLETELY untrue. I was sad to see them go but very happy that we got to spend a substantial amount of quality time together, especially since I was still on spring break and didn't have to work (yay!).
IV. I'll be damned--SPRING IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Knock on wood.)
We had a bit of a thunderstorm the other night and I lay awake (because I never sleep well during thunderstorms) feeling happy, and relieved. Thunderstorms remind me of the end of last summer, when we first arrived, when it was hot and muggy during the days and there was often thunder at night. The whole thing seemed to me to be a marker of some sort; we haven't had a thunderstorm in months and it was a welcome change from the Silent Killer (snow). Then this morning I heard on the radio that this weekend it will be partly sunny and in the 50s. I seriously felt choked up. I could cry from happiness just thinking about it right now.
Yes, this winter has really, truly worn me out. But I'm all the tougher for it, right? I feel like I should get some badge of honor, or a tee shirt: I Survived the Second Snowiest Milwaukee Winter on Record During my First Year as a Midwesterner. It's a little too long to be very catchy, I guess. Anyway, I'll officially put it out there: we are emerging from this seemingly endless, exhausting season in a cautiously joyous way. No doubt, we are still bloody, bruised and beaten; but we're also discreetly optimistic, tentatively eager, just waiting for that final certain sign before we begin an all-out frenzy of barbecuing, frisbee throwing, and uncategorized frolicking, at which point we will likely completely forget (PTSD-like) how shitty Midwest winters are until next Thanksgiving, when the beat-down will begin all over again. I for one am ready to start forgetting. Bring on the blissful ignorance!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Spring? Are you in there???
Welcome to March in Milwaukee: dreary, wet, snowy, gray, and pretty much just as cold as February. Woohoo. Generally, I'm used to the arrival of my birth month signifying some truly lovely weather--in San Diego it warms up a little in March, and it's sunny and green and people are frolicking excessively. In Wisconsin, March might well be the most detested month of the year. After having been pummeled by Jack friggin Frost for four months, we turn the calendar to March and semi-optimistically check the forecast, thinking, how much longer can this dismal season really persist? Isn't this when it's supposed to get better?? And here's what we see in the 10-day forecast: snow, 20-something degrees, mostly cloudy, snow, sleet, 18 degrees, 'wintry mix,' etc etc. It's not uplifting, to put it mildly. And there is absolutely NO frolicking. On the contrary, even *moving* has become difficult here because streets, sidewalks, and driveways alike have turned into ice rinks that appear fairly sturdy until you step on them trying to reach your car, break through, and end up in four inches of water. Just lovely.
I moved to Milwaukee with low expectations. Early on, this city exceeded them. I vaguely remember green parks, a beautiful endless lake, long sunny days, eating out on restaurant patios, and evening walks with Vinny through the Highlands. Now I realize: the midwest seems almost surreally and unnaturally quaint and lovely for exactly half the year. The other half of the year is a frigid, soggy graveyard where all of our hopes and happinesses lay at rest until....um....I dunno, April? Haven't gotten there yet; I'll let you know when my hopes and happinesses resurrect themselves.
You might think I'm being melodramatic, but everyone else here is, too. This winter has been awful, and no one can seem to complain enough about it. And apparently bad winters come in cycles of three to five years, so if I'm lucky, I'll get three more years of this crap before Matt and I flee to somewhere ridiculously arid, like Arizona, or maybe Texas!! Vinny's voting for Texas, I think. He is absolutely the definition of 'stir crazy' these days.
Here's what currently keeps me going: in a mere two weeks we are going to Belize with Matt's family, and my shrively, grey-ish arms and legs are going to reunite with their old friend: the sun! The anticipation is killing me, but I know it will come quickly. My wildest dreams would come true if, upon our return from the tropical wonderland, we found Milwaukee thawed and green!!!!! I know, I'm destined for disappointment. But at least my parents will be coming to visit us the week after we return, so by the time all the excitement of family and vacations has died down it will be nearly April, and if he weather is still like this in April, I can't guarantee you will be wanting to read this blog anymore.
I moved to Milwaukee with low expectations. Early on, this city exceeded them. I vaguely remember green parks, a beautiful endless lake, long sunny days, eating out on restaurant patios, and evening walks with Vinny through the Highlands. Now I realize: the midwest seems almost surreally and unnaturally quaint and lovely for exactly half the year. The other half of the year is a frigid, soggy graveyard where all of our hopes and happinesses lay at rest until....um....I dunno, April? Haven't gotten there yet; I'll let you know when my hopes and happinesses resurrect themselves.
You might think I'm being melodramatic, but everyone else here is, too. This winter has been awful, and no one can seem to complain enough about it. And apparently bad winters come in cycles of three to five years, so if I'm lucky, I'll get three more years of this crap before Matt and I flee to somewhere ridiculously arid, like Arizona, or maybe Texas!! Vinny's voting for Texas, I think. He is absolutely the definition of 'stir crazy' these days.
Here's what currently keeps me going: in a mere two weeks we are going to Belize with Matt's family, and my shrively, grey-ish arms and legs are going to reunite with their old friend: the sun! The anticipation is killing me, but I know it will come quickly. My wildest dreams would come true if, upon our return from the tropical wonderland, we found Milwaukee thawed and green!!!!! I know, I'm destined for disappointment. But at least my parents will be coming to visit us the week after we return, so by the time all the excitement of family and vacations has died down it will be nearly April, and if he weather is still like this in April, I can't guarantee you will be wanting to read this blog anymore.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Proud to be from Wisconsin.
It's not just the cows, folks. Or even the beer. Democrats in this state are awesome, and I'm so happy to be one of them. At least for today--I was officially a California Green Party member until 3:45 pm when Matt and I finally found our polling place (the basement gym of an elementary school, with one scant cardboard sign that read "VoTing" which had clearly been written by an eight-year-old) and re-registered in our new home state, where we're allowed to vote for whichever presidential candidate we choose in either primary (which, incidentally, I think is a totally sensible way of doing things--I'm not really a Democrat or a Republican, I just wanted to vote for Obama). I actually felt GOOD casting my vote, and I am thrilled Obama is probably going to take this state, and I'm genuinely excited to see where this election is headed.
I also just think it's fantastic that there were twice as many democratic votes cast in this state as republican votes, and 1 in 7 voters were new voters. I don't want to get over-excited, but the young people here are so dedicated and involved right now, and it really seems like Obama is a huge part of that. I feel like my demographic matters, and I hope we can contribute to something momentous come November.
Don't get me wrong, I am as disillusioned as anyone about the state of US politics and I don't personally believe that any of these candidates will be able to singlehandedly right our country's wrongs in one or even two terms of office--no way. But lately I've begun to believe again that Americans have the ability to mobilize in a way that is forceful, optimistic, and impassioned--and not arbitrarily, but because we truly DESIRE change. I mean, come on. It was 5 degrees outside today, absolutely miserable, and the turnout was awesome.
I'm hopeful. Check back with me this summer, but for now, I will officially say: Wisconsin has given me hope.
I also just think it's fantastic that there were twice as many democratic votes cast in this state as republican votes, and 1 in 7 voters were new voters. I don't want to get over-excited, but the young people here are so dedicated and involved right now, and it really seems like Obama is a huge part of that. I feel like my demographic matters, and I hope we can contribute to something momentous come November.
Don't get me wrong, I am as disillusioned as anyone about the state of US politics and I don't personally believe that any of these candidates will be able to singlehandedly right our country's wrongs in one or even two terms of office--no way. But lately I've begun to believe again that Americans have the ability to mobilize in a way that is forceful, optimistic, and impassioned--and not arbitrarily, but because we truly DESIRE change. I mean, come on. It was 5 degrees outside today, absolutely miserable, and the turnout was awesome.
I'm hopeful. Check back with me this summer, but for now, I will officially say: Wisconsin has given me hope.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Ugh.
I watched Blood Diamond last night and was seriously disheartened. I watched Apocolypto tonight and was absolutely disgusted. I got home ten minutes ago and read this article about the guy who opened fire on a college auditorium at Northern Illinois University and am currently thinking about human nature and how it is pretty much the same everywhere, all the time, and it's always this surprising and this horrifying, and even though Mel Gibson is OBVIOUSLY a creep and a sadist he's pretty much just showing us the darker side of what has existed as long as we have inhabited this planet. We're a scary bunch, man. I worry about what we're going to end up doing to each other.
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